How To Save Yourself From Dating A Rebounder

By Kel | 10-Mar-10 in Dating
Kel

Relationships, break ups, heart breaks and new relationships. It’s a cycle we’ve all been a part of. The end of a relationship means suddenly being alone and this need to be with someone is usually what leads to rebound for some of us. Nobody wants to be on the receiving end of a rebounder. Although there isn’t really a foolproof way of telling whether you’re dating a rebounder, these tips might help when in doubt.

 

  1. Recent Break Up
    Have they just recently broken up with someone? A quick jump from one relationship to another is usually one of the biggest signs of a rebound. May not always be the case but some things to consider may be:
      • Are they always in a relationship? When was the last time they took a break between relationships?
      • Do they have a history of jumping from one relationship to the next?
  2. Down Memory Lane
    Are they stuck in reverse and always living in the past? It’s one thing to be heart broken about an ex; it’s another thing to obsess. If all they talk about is their ex, are you really on their mind? If they’re so in love with the memories they already have, they’re not very likely to create new ones with you right?

  3. (In)Dependent Living
    It’s cute when your partner wants to do stuff together…but surely they should be able to do some stuff alone right? A healthy relationship needs a certain amount of independence. It’s possible that your partner needs to be in a relationship to feel good. Or, it could also be their way of dealing with the pain of the break up, because some people distract themselves from the pain by always having someone around. Either way, it’s not healthy for a good relationship.

  4. Constant Comparison
    If they’re not always reminiscing, they could be trying very hard to make you a clone of their ex. Do you often hear remarks like “My ex used to do it like this” or “Why can’t you do that like my ex?” They might not even make direct comparisons, yet try to change things about you (to make you more like the ex). It’s pretty obvious they’re still hung up over their ex, and they don’t really want anyone else.

  1. The Emotional Wall
    If they’re really cut up over the break up, some people tend to build an emotional wall and not let anyone in. Their feelings have been hurt and they think they’re better off not sharing it with anyone else. Obviously they have been hurt, but it’s not fair to always keep you out is it?

  2. Always Bitter
    A broken relationship can leave many of us bitter…but some people change their entire outlook based on their past relationships. So if they’re with you and always saying things like “All men are like this” or “All women do that” or “There’s no such thing as love”…he’s not really giving your relationship much credit is he?

  3. Trivial Pursuit?
    Does your partner really know you? Do you always talk about them or do stuff they both enjoy? Would they do well in a game of Trivial Pursuit based on you? Do they know and if not, are they trying to? If not, it’s possible they just want to be in a relationship, not necessarily with you.

 

Like I said before, these aren’t surefire signs and sometimes you just can’t tell. However, a combination of many of these signs is definitely a big warning and you should reassess exactly where your relationship is going, and if your partner is in it for the right reasons.


Would love to know if any of you had any other tips to spot a rebounder.


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